I queefed so loud it echoed.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
