Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
