it was like eating out sand paper
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
