There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
