3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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