I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
