i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
