Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
