i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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