You're so nebulous sometimes
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
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The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
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That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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