We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
