apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
