I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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