I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
