im six kinds of drunk right now
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
