You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
