I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
