I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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