Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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