So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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