shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize