Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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