I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize