I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
