Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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