If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
