2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
