Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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