If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
