i just wanna soil my oats bro
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
