how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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