Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
did i walk over a car last night?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
