im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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