dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
