Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
