And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
