She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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