If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
then he tried to convert me to islam
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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