i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
