I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
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I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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