I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
