The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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