Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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