were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
