its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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