He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
