okay pat passed out under dana's car
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize