i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
