I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize