He is an equal opportunity slut.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
