I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
