So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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