she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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