You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
