so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
