What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
