We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
