Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had