I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dicks are not precious.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.