Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again