didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
