Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
