do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
