Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Boobs speak an international language.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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