I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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