I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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