my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
